2.3 – La Renarde

I first heard about Reality Travel from La Renarde, this girl in my HighSchool French Class. We hadta do a presentation in French on one of our heroes, and I did mine on Le Rouge Baron, known in English as “The Red Baron.”

The Red Baron was a fighter pilot about being the best at killing other fighter pilots during The First Great Reality War.

La Renarde did her’s on Holden Caulfield.

Holden Caulfield is a fictional teenage Reality Traveler in J.D. Salinger’s The Catcher in the Rye, which is a novel about going on a big Reality Travel Trip to NewYorkCity but failing to MeToo anyone, saying “dammit” a lot, and then going crazy. Almost everyone who reads it MeToos it tho.

I was not that good at French cuz everyone around me spoke English all the time, and I figured they always would, so La Renarde’s report was hard for me to understand. But I did hear the words “Moi-Aussie” and “Voyage de Realite” a lot, and they had a certain unexplainable ring to them.

La Renarde was a very foxy redhead girl, who always wore black boots. She was crafty and cunning and could always solve our French class assignments. I was afraid she’d outwit me if we ever spoke, so I usually stayed away from her. But she actually came up to me after our hero reports.

“Le Rouge Baron?” she said. “Why do you like War so much?”

“Cuz I hate Bad Guys, and I like how War gets them,” I said.

“War is so not Reality Travel tho.”

“I don’t know what those words mean.”

“Really? I thought everyone did.”

“I don’t.”

“Well, a Reality Traveler is the best thing a person can be. I’m one.”

Then she started explaining it all. She was incorrect about some things, but she had the basics down.

“Holden Caulfield is so Reality Travel,” she said, “but J.D. Salinger, who wrote him, was not. After the book became a hit he went deep into TheWoods where no one could ever find him, and he just stayed in Alone Reality and never Traveled to another Reality for the rest of his life. A real Reality Traveler has to Get Out There tho.”

It made me realize how I wasn’t Reality Travel at all either cuz I was almost always in Alone Reality except for at school.

“Hey, you know what would be so Reality Travel?” she said. “If we Travel to Downtown Ohio Industrial City (Rubber), and I teach you more about Reality Travel.”

My family lived in The Suburbs and almost never went to Downtown Ohio Industrial City (Rubber). It seemed like it was a wasteland full of poor and desperate criminals, and the only time I’d go was with my parents for the 4th of July fireworks when there were tons of police around.

“Do we have to Reality Travel there?” I said.

“Downtown is very Reality Travel,” La Renarde said. “The Suburbs are not Reality Travel  at all, and they suck. Everything interesting happens in Downtowns, especially the ones in other countries. Like Downtown Paris, France is the most Reality Travel place in The World. But Downtown OIC(R) is the closest place we have to it here.”

“Alright, I guess so.”

“Awesome, do you wanna drive or should I?”

“I don’t know how.”