4.1 – Ohio Gas Station

I didn’t get far from The Smaller Nest before I hadta get gas again. It was all running smoothly at first. I had the money Mom gave me, and the gas station lady knew how to successfully operate the pre-pay system. But just as I was about to pump this guy with a long snout-face and crazy-eyes came up to me.

“Hey, hey, hey,” he said. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”

I looked around for something I wasn’t doing right, but I couldn’t find anything.

“I don’t know how it works in Where-thePlains-Meet-TheMountains,” he said looking at my license plate, “but in Ohio you have to keep your engine running while you pump.”

“That’s bullshit,” I said. “I grew up in Ohio, and I know the Rules of Driving. That could cause an explosion.”

“They just changed it in the last couple years. You have to now. It’s the law.”

“But why?”

“Something about better fuel efficiency. Helps the gas work its way in there better.”


I’d never heard of such of thing, but I went in the car and turned the ignition back on anyway.

“Hahahahahahahahaha,” the guy said.

It was the longest yippie-howl of a laugh I’d ever heard. Just like a pack of coyotes in the night.

“Hahaha,” The Coyote said. “I’m just fuckin with you. Turn that engine off before you blow us all up.”

I turned the engine right back off.

“Hahaha, they don’t make em too smart where you’re from, do they?” The Coyote said.

“Stupid MeNotzie Domination,” I said to myself.