El Puma and I got Wings back from The Adult Bar valet and plotted our next move.
“I suggest we return to the ALC party,” he said. “I will get to see Mi Amor again, and the Realities there are more likely to respect Reality Travelers of our caliber.”
“No,” I said. “I only wanna go to NewYorkCity.”
“I am certain your judgment at this moment is very precise, as always, but we are too late now to catch the last train.”
“I said I’ll drive us.”
“You have had very much alcohol, no?”
“El Puma, don’t believe what you hear. You can actually drive better in Alcohol Perception.”
“I did not know this.”
“Yeah, way better. Now you just hafta tell me which Roads to take there.”
“I am deeply sorry, but I do not know this information. I have only ever taken the train. Perhaps we should ask someone for directions.”
“A Reality Traveler never asks for directions. The Gods are on our side, and they will show us the way.”
Then we Hit the NewYorkCity Roads, the most advanced and complex in all of America. There were several lanes filled all the way at all times with fast moving cars. They were all in a hurry and flew around you with unpredictable, lightning quick, high-risk lane changes that almost always nearly hit you. And every single car honked the entire time, and we didn’t know if they were honking at us or just The World.
“You are driving very well on these Roads, Traveler Jonathan,” El Puma said. “The drivers around us make reckless decisions, yet we do not crash.”
“Yeah! Watch this lane change.”
“Two lanes at once! You are truly the maestro of The Road. How is it done? Hard work, practice, and persistently learning from mistakes?”
“It’s a Gift from The God of the Road and I’ve always had it. I don’t even hafta look. I can just sense what all the other cars will do before they do it, and then I make my move. It’s impossible for us to crash.”
“I suppose I will never have this sense then.”
“Nope, gotta be born with it.”
“Ah, this discourages me.”
“Here, let me cheer you up with the best part of driving!”
Then I put on The Mix and turned it to “The Sign.”
“Now we listen closely to this song and Rock Out,” I said. “No one can kick us out of here for singing.”
I turned up the song to the highest possible volume and screamed along and prepared to show the NewYorkCity Roads Entire-Body-Out-Window. But El Puma was holding his ears.
“What are you doing?” I said. “You can’t hear it when you do that.”
“Forgive me, but I just cannot MeToo. This song was very overplayed in our childhood, even in far off South America.”
“It doesn’t matter how many times you hear it. A great song is always great.”
“Perhaps I just do not like the song then.”
“How is that possible? Do you even know what it’s about?”
“I am not sure… It is a song about a chick who wants another baby?”
“No! It’s about you and me and how The Gods Love us more cuz we’re Reality Travelers!”
“I’m afraid I do not see how this song means this.”
“Oh, you don’t understand anything.”
And then I hadta turn the Mix off.