5.16 – TheHeart-of-theStreets Street

“That was the greatest MeToo I have ever witnessed with my own eyes,” El Puma said as we got back in the car. “It had everything. A pure and genuine MeToo. From a Reality which at first appeared very different from our own. And of course The Gods were involved. I find myself very inspired now. Maybe I will quit the Major Financial Newspaper and become a full time Reality Traveler who helps The World MeToo via Love.”

“Yes!” I said.

Soon we were on Heart-of-theStreets Street, and everything was full of lights and Realities. There were streetlamps and traffic lights and car headlights, and every building had a neon light bar on the bottom floor. There was a light glow in the sky, and it was so bright it seemed like day instead of night. There were Downtown Hits coming at us from every direction, and Realities were even dancing to it in the middle of the street. In fact, there were so many Realities outside I could barely move Wings forward anymore. They were Realities of all types, but they were all talking in NewYorkCity accents and going “ey!” One chick even walked in front of the car, looked at the license plate and waved, “Eyyy, Where-ThePlains-Meets-TheMountains,” like she wanted to do the Horizontal MeToo right then and there with Wings.

“This would be a very good place to find Love,” El Puma said. “Here the chicks seem to hunt you.”

“I don’t even care about that,” I said. “I just wanna get out and MeToo as much as we can.”

“I am motivated by your second wind. My apartment building is nearby. Let us park there and walk back to this Heart-of-theStreets Street Reality Fiesta.”

When we got to El Puma’s block I couldn’t find anywhere to park. It was all parallel, and there were no good gaps to fit in.

“Dammit,” I said. “My main driving weakness. Are there any valet places around here?”

“Not that I know of,” he said. “But that space over there looks big enough.”

“Maybe, but it has to be way big for me to get in there. Do you see any Reality Traveler houseflies around here?”

“Perhaps we do not have to park directly in front of my building.”


I kept driving around the block, but there was still nothing easy enough. I hadta go further and further until finally I found a whole street with no cars parked on it.

“Do you think we can park here?” I said.

“I do not know,” he said. “But I do not see any signs which say we cannot.”

I didn’t either, so I just pulled over and easily parked. It felt too easy tho, and I was nervous that Wings could get towed away in the night.

A couple of NewYorkCity Realities were standing nearby in the shadows.  They didn’t seem as joyful as the Heart-of-theStreets Realities. They were very close to the garbage and had pointed noses and whiskers like CityRats.

“Should we ask them?” I said.

“They look like they could be MeNotzie Perception Dealers,” El Puma said.

“Remember the Humility Mantra tho. They’re just like us. Also we can’t forget we’ve got a 100% MeToo rate on NewYorkCity Realities tonight.”

“This is true.”

We went up to them.

“Excuse me sir,” I said. “Do you know if it’s alright to park here?”

“Yoocrazy?” one of the Rats said. “Fuck no!”

“Oh,” I said and turned to El Puma. “I guess we hafta keep trying. I think there was a spot a couple streets ago that we might be able to squeeze into and only scratch the other cars a little bit.”

Then the Rats started laughing.

“I’m jus fuckin witchoo,” the one said. “You c’n pawrk here. Read da sign!”

He pointed to a sign we hadn’t seen that said you could park there. El Puma got mad.

“We are very nice Realities who approached you in a respectful manner,” he told them. “There was no reason to lie to us at first.”

“Yo, you gotta lighten up,” the other Rat said.

Then he came forward and punched El Puma hard in the shoulder. And then the other Rat came forward and punched me hard in the shoulder, and it hurt. Then both Rats started laughing. I looked over at El Puma, and we both had the same thought. We didn’t say anything else to the Rats and just started walking toward his apartment. They didn’t follow us, but we could hear them talking. They were trying to sound like us.

“Um, yes, uh, sir, uh…” one said in his wimpiest voice.

“Uh, yes, do you know if we could, uh, possibly park here…” the other said in his nerdiest voice.

It made them laugh really hard.