One day I came over to The Den, and Wolf&Lamb were very excited.
“We’ve just picked the song for The First Dance,” Wolf said.
“What’s The First Dance?” I asked.
“The most important song of The Wedding,” Lamb said. “It’s the first time Wolf and I will dance as married Realities. They’ll play a song, and we’ll be the only ones on the dancefloor. Everyone will watch us, and they can’t start dancing themselves until the next song.”
“It’s supposed to be something slow and romantic,” Wolf said. “And also something that perfectly represents our Love.”
“We picked Coldplay’s ‘Sparks,’” Lamb said.
“Sparks” is a song about the bright little flying embers that occur during an intense physical reaction like someone welding metal, a car bottoming out on pavement, a tree branch falling on a power line, or two Realities falling in Love.
I liked Coldplay. Their lead singer Chris Martin did not have a powerful voice, but it was high and still capable of giving you The Chills.
“To fully explain,” Wolf said, “We have to tell you The Story of How We Met.”
“Alright!” I said.
Then we got comfortable, and Wolf made some Jack Daniels and Dr. Pepper cocktails. Lamb even came up with the idea of adding maraschino cherries, so it would be like a sweet prize at the end of the drink. It was very good. Then Wolf began The Story…
“You may be thinking that in order to fall in Love you have to MeToo about every single thing, but, as you may notice, the two of us may as well be different species. You’d expect, since I’m so Wolf-like and Lamb is so baby-sheep like, that I would’ve only hunted her down in the night, pulled her from the flock with my canine teeth, and MeNotted her with my digestive tract. And actually at first I was searching for no animal but another daring and ferocious Canis Lupis, a SoulTwin who shared a 100% MeToo Overlap.”
“I thought the same thing,” Lamb said. “I just assumed I’d end up with a hardy, horn-bashing ram-boy.”
“I was at The Perceptionist Training School in TheWoods of Pennsylvania,” Wolf said, “going on intense Adventures assigned by the esteemed Perceptionism Professor. He would take us, as he would say, “Down The Rabbithole” to the frontiers of Perception and The Other World. I assumed I would fall in Love in there, but only a rare breed of Traveler was Called to do it. There were not many of us, and the pool of available mating options was quite small. I soon had to turn to the nearby Pennsylvania Future Adult Training School, where there were considerably better odds of meeting someone. I’d always enjoyed reading, especially the Great Perceptionist authors, such as Aldous Huxley, William S Burroughs, and Hunter S Thompson, so I enrolled in a literature course at the college.”
“I was going to PFATS because I thought I wanted to be an Adult at first,” Lamb said. “I mean that’s what everyone tells you you’re supposed to be, right? I ended up in the same literature class as Wolf because I always liked reading, too. I’d never heard of any of his favorite authors tho. My favorites were Mother Goose and the Bible.”
“I found her innocence and adorable looks very attractive right away.”
“I found his experience and intense hunting eyes attractive right away.”
“But I doubted there was even a 10% Overlap between us, so I continued looking elsewhere.”
“And I thought there was no way someone like Wolf would be interested in me.”
“I turned my attention to the PFATS party scene, and made it known to the right Realities that I had access to wild new Perceptions which could obliterate their inhibitions. It became easy to meet women after that, but they were all into Perceptionism for superficial reasons, and I would hide my Reality Travel Calling so it would appear as if we had more of a MeToo Overlap. Sometimes I’d outright lie and tell them I was a full time PFATS Student. I ended up dating several of them, but it was never satisfying, and none of them ever felt close to being my SoulMate.”
“And I would date boys who were too much like me. They were religious, polite, and well on their way to becoming Adults. But all the MeTooing was actually boring me, and I wanted to meet someone different for once.”
“Meanwhile in literature class, despite our differences, I couldn’t draw my attention away from Lamb. I felt strong urges to be near her soft wool and nuzzle it like a blanket. Eventually those urges overcame my fears.”
“Then one day Wolf asked me out, and I couldn’t believe it. I thought, why would someone like that like me?”
“Remarkably, she agreed. And at once I began worrying Lamb would MeNot everything about me. Yet, I was also fed up with not Being My Own Reality. I realized it was absurd to try and trick someone into being my SoulMate and decided not to lie or hold anything back this time. So I invited her to my favorite off-campus dive bar.”
“Not only had I never been in a bar before, but I’d never even been in Alcohol Perception.”
“When I found that out, I was even more terrified of a MeNotzie reaction, but I knew I had to continue with the Being My Own Reality experiment.”
“He ordered a martini and I ordered a Coke.”
“And I flat out told her, ‘I’m a ShaMan Reality Traveler who MeToos via Perceptionism.’”
“I had no idea what that meant.”
“So then I just explained everything to her. The Perceptions, MeTooing, and The Gods. And to my surprise, she did not run away or argue with me or stare at me in confusion.”
“I was thrilled by all these concepts and terminology I’d never heard before.”
“And then she said, ‘Thank you for being so honest.’”
“And then I reached out and grabbed his hand.”
“And then something happened. A surge of energy built up in the center of my chest and in an instant shot out to all parts of my body. It went thru my shoulders and down my arms, and when it reached my hands and fingers it leapt out in a spark. I truly mean that a small ember of light was created when we touched. It was overwhelming and forced us both to retract. Then when we summoned the courage to reach out and touch again, the same thing happened.”
“You may doubt me on this and think it was just a lingering effect from some recent Adventure in Perception.”
“But I was in Sober Perception the whole time, and I felt the exact same surge from my chest to my fingertips and witnessed the exact same electricity.”
“It’s left us both with a mysterious but non-negotiable trust in each other. As if from that point on, whatever force caused that spark would guide us no matter how much we MeToo’d or not.”
“We’ve been together ever since, and there have been a lot of MeToos.”
“I am certain we are SoulMates and have full confidence in my decision to marry her. And that, my friend, is why the song must be Coldplay’s ‘Sparks.’”