6.4 – Adventures in Perceptionism: Mushrooms

Wolf and I sat across from each other on the floor of My Nest. In the middle was a loaf of cinnamon raisin bread, a jar of peanut butter, and a plate with several skinny, gray, gross looking mushrooms on it.

“Mushroom Perception,” Wolf said, “will allow us to Travel to The Other World. The Gods don’t want just any Reality to enter their domain, so they’ve draped a Veil between us and them that is too big and thick to see past. But when we consume these Mushrooms The Veil will momentarily dissolve, and we will be able to Travel right thru it.”

“What do you do in The Other World?” I asked.

“There are many things one can do there. But the most useful and appropriate is to ask The Gods a question.”

“Like what?”

“Something important and meaningful. The Ancient Perceptionists were mainly healers, and they would ask The Gods something like ‘What is the cure to my Realities’ sickness?’ And then The Gods would show them a particular herb or root.”

“Wow. What should we ask?”

“Remember The Other World holds all the information on the design of the Universe.”

“I think I’m going to ask about The Crow.”

Wolf nodded.

“What are you going to ask?” I asked him.

“I’ve been to The Other World via Perceptions many times and have asked many questions. For this adventure, I’ll simply guide you and keep you out of harm’s way.”

“Should I ask now?”

“Not yet. We must wait until the Perception has fully kicked in, and we have crossed beyond The Veil.”

Then Wolf took two pieces of cinnamon raisin bread, spread some peanut butter on one, put my share of the mushrooms on it, and made a sandwich.

“These mushrooms are very unappetizing,” he said. “Your mouth will not like the taste and will sense it may be poison. It will stop producing saliva and close your throat unless we sneak it in with this other more delicious food.”

Then we ate the sandwiches, and the bread and peanut butter were so good you didn’t even know there were mushrooms on it. At first nothing happened, but Wolf said that was normal.

“How will we know when it kicks in?” I said a little later.

“In Mushroom Perception,” he said, “you cannot speak without either laughing or crying.”

I suddenly saw the funniness in what Wolf was saying and laughed.

“Haha, I don’t know why I’m laughing,” I laughed.

“Haha, It’s alright,” Wolf laughed. “It’s the first sign.”

Then that sounded like the funniest thing I’d ever heard, and I laughed so hard and long that my chest started hurting.

“Haha, we have to go outside now,” Wolf laughed.

“Haha, why?”

“Haha, I forgot to tell you. It’s awesome to see The Other World outside.”

So we walked down to the Where-ThePlains-Meet-TheMountains Creek, and each footstep was hilarious. When we got there all the trees and plants started to pop out at us like a children’s pop-up book. Their colors seemed more colorful than usual even tho it was nighttime, and then they got so colorful and popped out so far that they weren’t even trees and plants anymore but feelings. One shrub became welcome! and a big pine tree become old and wise and the ripples in the creek water became small ever-changing parts of one unified moving thing, and it made me cry.

“Don’t be afraid to cry,” Wolf cried, too. “It’s all part of the Perception.”

Then we sat for a while at the edge of the one unified thing silently crying to ourselves, and it felt great.

“Are you doing alright?” Wolf cried.

“Very,” I cried.

“Need anything?”

“More cinnamon raisin bread.”

Then we both started laughing again.

“Haha,” I laughed. “I want the whole loaf!”

“Haha, yes,” Wolf laughed. “Your heart is telling you to get bread, and you must follow your heart.”

Then we laughed all the way back to My Nest. I picked up the loaf, which had become the greatest thing, and held it over my head like the bread champion.

“Haha,” I laughed. “Thanks Me-from-the-past for getting this.”

“Yes,” Wolf cried. “Gratitude, gratitude.”

Then I grabbed three slices and put them all in my mouth at once, and I handed Wolf three slices, and he ripped them apart with his teeth like it was a kill in the Tundra.

“Haha, this is the greatest thing to me,” Wolf laughed.

“MeToo, MeToo,” I cried.

Then we lay down on the floor to eat the bread. When I looked up at the ceiling I noticed it was doing strange things. The patterns in the plaster were shifting and swirling in constant motion, and soon they felt like The Veil.

“Haha, is it happening now?” I laughed.

“Yes,” Wolf cried. “Keep looking.”

The more I stared the more the ceiling seemed to grow until there was no more My Nest, only one infinite cream colored ceiling World.

“Should I ask the Infinite Cream Swirl the question now?” I cried.

“Haha,” Wolf laughed. “Sure.”

“Other World, this is Reality Traveler Jonathan WawaBird, and my question is who is The HahaCrow?”

Suddenly there was a great cawing, and a giant portal opened up in the ceiling, and I could see exactly how The Crow had gotten inside My Nest. Then I was able to float up off the floor and go into the portal myself. Once inside, I stared feeling to feeling with the bird, and it felt like helper.

I liked it and wanted to go up and pet it gently on the beak, but suddenly something inside the Other World started pulling me away. It was a strange and powerful force with no clear feeling, but it had the strength of the God of Weightlifters, and I couldn’t get away. Like a giant magnet it swept me away right past The Crow towards the depths of the Other World. It even felt like it was trying to pull my insides right out of my body.

“Oh no!” I cried. “I need those.”

I felt like it was the essence of my soul getting ripped out, and I tried to hold it back in, but I was going up against The Gods, and there was nothing I could do.

Then at the same time I noticed another force was shooting out towards me. It was strong, too, but I couldn’t feel what it was. I didn’t know whether it was evil or holy, if it was going to make me stronger than ever before, or send me straight to the Dead Souls part of The Other World, but I was directly in its path, and it was coming fast.

“Get me out of here!” I cried to Wolf.

He was able to hear me and jumped into action, grabbing me with his jaws and tugging me back down with all his might. He wasn’t strong enough on his own, but then The Crow came and latched on with his beak and pulled, too. And just before the mysterious Other World force crashed into me, I came falling back thru The Veil and found myself right back on the floor of My Nest.

“What was that?” I asked Wolf.

“I don’t know,” he said. “I’ve never experienced anything like it before.”