One day I came over to The Den and Wolf&Lamb were listening to songs. Wolf had on some kind of electronic music that didn’t have any words and wasn’t about anything and kinda sounded like a prisoner inside a computer.
“I don’t know about this one,” Lamb said.
“Really?” Wolf said, “I’ve had some profound experiences with this music,” Wolf said. “It’s like a code that can only be cracked and understood in certain advanced Perceptions.”
“But most of the Realities at The Wedding will be in simple Alcohol Perception,” Lamb said. “Will they get it?”
“Hmm,” Wolf scratched his chin, “maybe you’re right.”
I asked them what they were up to, and they said they were making a Mix for The Wedding.
“After the ceremony and The First Dance, everyone’s going to get together and drink and dance,” Lamb said. “We’re hand picking all our favorite songs that they can MeToo.”
“All I know is I don’t want them to play any of those typical Ice Breaker songs,” Wolf said. “You know, the ones where everyone gets in a line and the song instructs them what to do. The thinking is that everyone will MeToo about doing the same moves together, but it’s at the price of your dignity.”
“I hate those, too,” I said.
“Maybe you can help us pick some of the songs,” Lamb said.
“Alright, but I only like Old Radio Hits, which a lot of Reality Travelers seem to hate for some reason.”
“We like some Radio Hits,” Wolf said. “What do you think about this?”
Then he put on Steppenwolf’s “Magic Carpet Ride.”
“Magic Carpet Ride,” is a song about taking a Reality with you for a ride on a carpet that can magically fly thru the air. And how once you’re in the air you can see new things that you can’t normally see when you’re just on the ground.
“I like this song,” Wolf said, “because like every good Anthem of the 1960’s Golden Age, it’s really about Perceptionism. ‘The carpet’ is really just a symbol for a Perception which can take you to The Other World.”
I knew the song from Old Hits Radio and liked it even when I thought it was about an actual carpet. I approved and started singing along.
“Wow,” Lamb said. “You have a great voice.”
“Yes, that’s quite a talent, Bluebird,” Wolf said. “How have we not heard you sing before?”
“I really only sing alone now.”
“That could be some MeToo strength if you use it right,” Wolf said.
I was still traumatized by my Dead Voice experience and could only shrug.
“You know who else likes singing?” Wolf said and pointed to his fiancée.
“It’s true,” Lamb said, “We should totally do Karaoke together sometime.”
“I’ve never done that before,” I said.
“Well,” Lamb explained, “Karaoke is about going to a bar that has the lyrics and music recordings for a big list of songs and then picking one of those songs and going up to a microphone and singing in front of everyone.”
“A bar?” I said. “Wouldn’t that be full of drunken MeNotzies?”
“It’s alright tho,” Lamb said, “because every Reality knows Karaoke isn’t about being good. If you screw up everyone will MeToo you for being drunk and bad just like them. And if you’re good they’ll MeToo you because you’re good. It’s really a win-win.”
“I like the sound of this,” I said. “Do you sing too, Wolf?”
“I never sing,” Wolf said. “My voice comes out in a terrible howl that disturbs Realities whether we’re in Alcohol Perception or not. But I do like to listen to others do it.”
So the next time there was a Karaoke night we all went. I was nervous cuz I hadn’t been following The Rules of Singing, especially since I’d started delivering pizzas, and hadta sing in the car all the time, and I knew there was a chance I could get The Dead Voice again. And I didn’t care what Wolf&Lamb were saying about everyone MeTooing you at Karaoke, no one can MeToo The Dead Voice. I told them about what happened with my Voice Training at ALC.
“You were singing great earlier tho,” Lamb said.
“Yes,” I said, “but The Dead Voice comes on quickly and without warning, maybe even in the middle of a song.”
“I don’t know about The Rules of Singing,” Wolf said. “But I do know the Rules of Perceptionism, and I’ll make sure you have enough Lubricant that you don’t even remember this Dead Voice exists.”
“And I’ll sing a duet with you,” Lamb said. “That way if the Dead Voice strikes I’ll just start covering your part, and then it won’t be so bad.”
“Alright,” I said.
Then Wolf took care of the Alcohol Perception end of things, and Lamb grabbed a huge notebook that was full of song titles.
“My Gods,” I said. “It’s the entire Great List of Old Songs!”
We looked thru it together, and it was hard to pick one song out of all the possible ones.
“This is too overwhelming,” I told Lamb. “What do you usually sing?”
“My favorite songs are a little embarrassing.”
“MineToo. What are yours?”
“They’re all from Disney Movies.”
Disney Movies are cartoons about talking animals who have problems at first but then solve them and live happily ever after. They make kids feel like life is going to be alright.
“I like Disney Songs, too,” I said. “They’re so catchy and uplifting.”
“I don’t know,” Lamb said. “It just seems like they’re only for kids or something.”
“Reality Travelers are kids tho,” I said.
“He’s right,” Wolf said. “I like Disney Movies, too, especially the more Perceptionist ones like Alice in Wonderland and Fantasia.”
“Let’s sing a Disney song then,” I said. “What’s your favorite?”
“It’s probably “A Whole New World’ from Aladdin,” Lamb said.
Aladdin is a Disney Movie, in the far off and exciting Realities of Arabia, about a lowly street thief Reality who falls in Love with a princess but doesn’t think she’ll like his Reality and is afraid to introduce himself. Then he finds a lamp with a hilarious genie inside who gives him three wishes and the street thief thinks that’s the only way to MeToo the princess, but she ends up falling in Love with him anyway in the end.
“A Whole New World,” is a song about taking something with you for a ride on a carpet that can magically fly thru the air, and how once you’re in the air, you can see new things that you can’t normally see when you’re just on the ground.
“Yes!” I said. “Let’s do that one.”
Then Lamb filled out a little slip of paper and handed it to the Karaoke guy, and a little while later he called us up to the microphone. The “A Whole New World,” music started to play, and there was a screen in front of us that showed all the words that were about to come up. I took the Aladdin words and Lamb took the Princess words, and we both started nailing it right away. Lamb had a high and powerful Baah voice, and all my throat spots were alive, and I was able to bounce air off of them to create all the right notes. There was a part when we had to sing at the same time, and our two voices combined were more powerful than our voices on our own. It gave me The Chills, and when I looked out all the Realities of the bar had gotten out of their seats and were dancing in front of us and singing along.
It turned out Disney songs were more MeTooable than we’d realized. When we were done everyone clapped and went “Woo!” and I heard one Reality say “Best of the night!” Wolf was standing up and clapping and howling the loudest.
“You guys are both RockStars,” he said.