As a MusicMan Reality Traveler I have always done my best not to be a MeNotzie about any song. Even if I don’t listen to them or know about them, I would never MeNot someone else for liking them. But if there is just one song I cannot take, it’s That One “Hot, Hot, Hot” Song by someone I never bothered to find out.
That One “Hot, Hot, Hot” Song is a song about heat. When you first get on a dancefloor your body is cold. Your arms and legs are frozen solid and can’t move and you hafta just stand still in the back like an ice sculpture. Gradually, as great songs play or Alcohol Perception kicks in, your body begins to warm up and then you can move and dance successfully. But That One “Hot, Hot, Hot”Song tries to heat you up all at once whether you’re ready to be thawed or not. It makes everyone on the dancefloor get in a long line in which each Reality holds the shoulders of the Reality in front of them. The Line then goes in circles collecting all the Realities it can even if they resist.
I was right on the edge of the dancefloor when I heard the first “ole, ole, ole, ole” of the song, and The Line began to form.
“Yeah!” the DJ Ant said. “It’s time to par-tay!”
And then suddenly all the nearby Adults ran to the dancefloor. I got caught in the middle of the chaos and tried to escape, but more Adults trying to join The Line kept blocking my way. I bumped into one and got knocked back and found myself face to face with The Head of The Line.
“Allaboard!” The Head of The Line said and made a ‘choo-choo’ motion with its arm like it was a train.
When I refused The Head of The Line didn’t like it.
“Oh come on,” it said. “Don’t be a par-tay pooper!”
And then it began to encircle me. Even Wolf&Lamb had been swept up in it, and I knew it would get me if I didn’t act fast. The only thing I could think to do was run right thru the line, busting apart all the arms and legs in the way until I was free.
“Boo!” the line said as I fought thru, but I made it.
When I got to a safe distance away I ran into the Queen Ant and demanded answers.
“This shouldn’t be playing right now,” I said. “What happened to Wolf&Lamb’s Wedding Mix they carefully compiled over months?”
“Oh,” she said, “we’re disregarding that, but don’t worry we know what people at weddings like. Go have fun!”
I looked back at the dancefloor, and now they were playing “The Electric Slide.”
The Electric Slide is a song about electricity. When you first get on a dancefloor your pulse is low. Your heartbeat isn’t fast enough to make your arms and legs move and you stand there like a corpse. Gradually, as great songs play or Alcohol Perception kicks in, blood will pump thru you and then you can move and dance successfully. But the Electric Slide tries to jolt you to life all at once with an electric shock, whether you’re ready to be alive or not. The song makes everyone on the dancefloor get in lines and follow a series of instructions like “now slide!” even if you don’t want to slide.
It only made me run straight back to my Hideout at the car.