It seemed like the whole AfterParty was a Lost Cause, and I just wanted to go find Wings and hit the Road straight back to Ohio. I went thru the first door I saw, which was the screen door in the kitchen, and I slammed it shut behind me. But then I was trapped inside the backyard, and there was a high fence around me and no way to get out.
“Dammit,” I said with my scratchy voice.
I wasn’t even in Alone Reality cuz there was someone else out there. They were trying to hide behind a tree, but you could see their dress waving in the wind.
“Bluebird? is that you?” she said, and when she turned around you could see it was The Goddess of Faith, and she was holding a big bottle of Alcohol Perception.
“Faithfully, what are you doing here?”
Then she stumbled over and tripped and fell on me. Her touch felt like It’s Kinda Weird, Babe.
“Are you drunk?” I asked her.
“Yass, Bluebebby,” she said. “I swiped this when nobody was looking, and I’ve never been drunk before, and I love it.”
“Yeah, when they wanna be your girlfriend, your human girlfriend, or probably your human wedding wife, and wanna go to fun drunk parties with you, but I can’t, and hate it, and this whiskey is the only thing that can lube up the machine of my broken-hearted sun.”
“Trust me, you don’t really wanna be in there. All that happens in there is you try to save everyone, but you just get your ass kicked, and your Traveler Allies are doomed to get the Vertigo.”
“I know, Bubbabird. I’ve been watching.”
“If I had only just Rocked Out a little less on The Great Trip.”
“But you hafta Rock Out, you’re the Rockblockbok.”
“But my voice is too important. It’s the only way I can MeToo anyone ever.”
“But you know songies. Maybe you can still find one everyone can MeToo, even if you can’t sing it.”
“Who’d sing it tho? That MeNotzie Emperor Penguin?”
“I knowww. I couldn’t believe he’s actually a Reality Traveler, so I looked up his Angel Corps File.”
“And you found out he’s a fraud, didn’t you? I knew it!”
“No he’s a Real Real, but he’s never actually Traveled outside PhillyDFeely cuz he’s too afraid.”
“So that’s why he hates Springsteen. He’s never actually hit the Thunder Road, and he’s jealous.”
“Yes, he’s really just a fly-less bird.”
“No, Blueblueblue, we have to MeToo him somehow. That’s what ReAlrighty Travelers do.”
“I guess you’re right.”
“We hafta make him and Wolf and everyone else in there feel Allllright, Baby!”
“I know how exactly. I’m gonna just go in there in there with you, and be a Reality Traveler, too, and then we’ll gonna get them all to play “One Love,” which is a song I actually made and gave to Bo-baby Marley, and then we’ll MeToo everybody with a sing-along.”
“Wait, wait, you can’t just go in there. One false move and we could both be Eliminated, remember?”
“Blah, blah, blahbird, I don’t care anymore. I hafta help you. Too in True Love.”
Then she started kissing me all over, and she even slipped her hand below my waist and tried to touch things in there, but I hadta brush it away.
“We can’t do that either now,” I said. “What if Wolf just called in his Guardian Angel, cuz I didn’t come thru, and they’ll catch us red-down-the-pants-handed.”
“Oh this is so stupid and dumbbb!”
Then I hadta put my arms around her tight.
“I know, Goddess,” I said, “but It’s Alright, and the Perceptionist Professor told me how we can Love together in total secret later.”
Then I explained his idea about The Past World.
“Alright, we hafta do is make it thru tonight,” I said.
“Aww, Bluebird, thats gonna work perfect, I Love your Alright so much.”
Then we just held each other close and wanted to stay like that the rest of the night, but we knew we couldn’t.
“Alright, I’ve gotta go back in now,” I hadta say.
“Yes, Baby, do you know what you’re gonna do?”
“I’ll try to do the sing-along, even tho it might fail.”
“Yay! I’ll give you some It’s Alright, Baby so you’re so strange-strong.”
Then she gave me a kiss on the lips, and it was great and not weird anymore, and it made me feel like I was a Bob Marley song myself.
“Alright,” I said, “I’m ready to make everyone get together and feel Alright.”
And then I started to head back in.
“Wait,” she said and stopped me.
Then she went to grab something in the backyard and came back with my tweed Professor-looking Wedding Uniform jacket.
“I love this and you need to wear it again,” she said and gave it to me.
I put it on, and noticed she’d found my Bluebird sticker and stuck it right on the front of the chest.
“I didn’t want you to forget who you are,” she said.
“Thank you,” I said.
“And don’t forget that I Love you more than anyone Loves anyone anywhere.”
“And I Love you that much,too.”
And then we kissed one more time before I went back in.