8.1 – RISK

Me and The General&The Admiral usta play RISK.

RISK is a board game about World Domination.  The board has all the major Realities of The World on it, and each player tries to Dominate as many as possible with their Armies. Whoever Dominates the most Realities wins.

We all liked War a lot and wanted to be Great WarMen one day, and we even gave each other War Names.  “The General” was The Ruler of The Land, “The Admiral” was The Ruler of The Sea, and I was “Ace,” The Ruler of The Skies.  Winning RISK was very important cuz it proved whether you’d be a Great WarMan one day or not.  The General always won.

One time I was winning tho.  I managed to get all the far off and exciting Realities of easily defensible Australia, and from there I built a big Army that crushed all the nearby Armies in Asia.  Then I tried to stop anyone else from getting their own whole continent of Realities, easily beating The Admiral in Europe and Africa.  I just had to beat The General in the close by and exciting Realities of North America and victory was mine.

“You’ll lose,” The General said.

“No way,” I said. “Look how many more Armies I have.”

“You’ll still lose.”

“No, you’ll lose and hafta admit I’m better than you at War.”

But The General just confidently shook his head.

Then we rolled the dice to see who would win the battle.  My dice had lower numbers than his, and it made me lose a couple Armies.

“See,” The General said.

“Hahaha,” The Admiral said.

“That’s just one battle tho,” I said.  “The odds are way on my side.”

We rolled again, and I lost again.

“Hahaha,” The Admiral said.  “Against the odds.”

“It has nothing to do with odds,” The General said.

We kept rolling, and I kept losing, and The Admiral kept going “hahaha.”  Soon The General had just as many Armies as me.  The smart thing to do was retreat, save some Armies, rebuild, and attack later, but I kept attacking anyway.

“This is impossible,” I said.  “The odds will have to come thru eventually.”

But I still kept losing until I was down to my last Army.  The odds were now way not on my side, but I rolled again, and one more time the numbers on my dice were smaller than his.

“I win,” The General said.

“Hahaha,” The Admiral said.  “He always wins.”

“But I had the odds on my side!”

“Yes, Ace, but you don’t have The Gods on your side, and I do, and that’s what really matters.”

“I don’t understand.”

“You see,The Gods make some people, like me, born winners, and some people, like you, born losers.  No matter what you do, you’ll always lose.”

“Hahaha,” Admiral said.  “Fate.”

They made me so mad I grabbed the board off the table and threw it against the wall, and all the pieces went flying onto the floor.