The Barracks was in a brand new luxury apartment complex. There was a gate around it, and you hadta enter a code in order for it to open. Inside all the buildings looked exactly the same, and you hadta have someone like The Admiral tell you which one to go to or else you’d get lost. Then when you got to the right building you hadta type in another code to get inside the door. Then you hadta go to another door upstairs, and when you unlocked that you were finally allowed in The Barracks.
It was clean and organized, but there wasn’t much in it. Aside from the basic furniture, there was just a globe and shelf with books about War. All the walls were bright white and bare, except for one that had an old fashioned sabre hanging up on it.
As soon as we got in the door The Admiral told The General we’d got in a car accident.
“No, we didn’t,” I said.
“Hahaha,” The Admiral, “it was close.”
“Some things never change, do they?” The General shook his head.
“Everything always changes,” I said.
Then a girl came into the room who looked just like La Renarde. Everything on her was red. Red hair, red lips, red tanktop, red skirt, red boots.
“Hahaha,” The Admiral said, “Red.”
“Oh my god!” she looked over at me. “Hippie Dippie! Do you remember me?”
I’d only seen her briefly a couple of times when she was just a kid. La Renarde was older and always said they never MeToo’d about anything, and she couldn’t believe they were actually related.
“Sortuv,” I said, “I’m not Hippie Dippe tho. I’m Jonathan or Ace or Bluebird.”
“You’re funny,” she said. “I’m gonna call you HD for short. Just like my favorite kind of TV!”
But she ignored me and pointed to my chest.
“Oh my god, HD” she said. “Why are you wearing a sticker?”
“Don’t look at that,” I said and covered it up. “Why are you here?”
“Oh my god, me and TheGeneral&TheAdmiral are are like friends now. They come into my job at Applebee’s all the time, and they’re so much more mature than the boys at Ohio Future Adult Training School.”
Then she noticed The Stash we’d just brought in.
“Oh my god!” she said and grabbed a bottle of vodka. “Is there any cranberry juice?”
The Admiral showed her what we just picked up on the gas station run.
“Oh my god, yes!” she said. “Let’s get wasted.”
And then before you knew it everyone started raiding The Stash and grabbing different bottles to make their own drinks.
“Wait,” I said, “the best way to MeToo is if we all drink the same amount of the same Alcohol.”
“Don’t try to pretend like you know more about drinking than we do,” The General said.
“Hahaha,” The Admiral said, “we’re alcoholics.”
“I know what I’m talking about,” I said. “I learned it from the great Perceptionist Reality Traveler Wolf.”
“I was born knowing Perception,” The General said.
“No, you weren’t. It’s a Reality Traveler term, and you don’t even know what it means.”
“What I know is that there’s no way you’ll be able to drink as much as me. I have a greater body mass and a genetically superior tolerance.”
“Only MeNotzies make drinking a competition.”
“Okay,” he shrugged, “then I’m a ‘MeNotzie.’”
There was nothing I could do to stop it from becoming Every Reality For Themselves. Red drank the vodka and cranberry, The Admiral drank straight rum, and The General mostly only drank expensive beer from his own Stash that was already there. You couldn’t tell how much Alcohol they were drinking at once, but they were all drinking too fast. I hadta make my own very powerful JacknDrPepper just to try and keep up.
It seemed like a good moment for The Goddess of Faith to show up, but she didn’t. All I could do was look down at my Sticker.
“I’m The Bluebird, a MusicMan Traveler who flies to all Realities and sings to them,” I hadta say to myself.