I left the apartment and went outside just in case the Goddess couldn’t for some reason get thru the Barracks’ defenses. When I got out to the parking lot to Wings she wasn’t there tho.
“Faith,” I said up to the sky, “where are you?”
But still there was no response. I wondered if maybe I hadn’t made a big enough sacrifice earlier. After all it was just gin which nobody really liked anyway. I looked in the car for anything else that I would miss a little more. It seemed like I’d probably have to get into my Traveler Gear to really get her attention. So I took my deodorant and threw it under the car.
“I’m going to get pretty smelly without that,” I said. “It’ll make MeTooing that much harder.”
But she didn’t show up, so I figured I’d have to sacrifice even more, and then I took my pillow and stuck it in the middle of a nearby shrub.
“No good sleeping in the car for me anymore,” I said.
But she still didn’t show up. Then I started to get mad, and I took Jack Kerouac’s On the Road and ripped all the pages out of it, and they fell all around me like book rain.
“C’mon Angel!” I said. “Isn’t that enough? Can you finally come now?”
But still she wasn’t there. And then I got a bad thought. What if something happened to her? What if she’d been caught for breaking The Rules?
And then I got an even worse thought. What if The General&The Admiral and La Renarde and my Dad were all right? What if Reality Travel wasn’t real? What if I was just a Creep imagining the whole thing in my head just to feel Special, and all the other Travelers, even Wolf, even The Professor, just hadn’t woke up to the truth yet either?
But I still knew if it was real at all then I needed my Guardian Angel more than ever and not just to help MeToo the MeNotzies inside. So then I took the item that was most important to me and her, the Professor-style tweed jacket for my Wedding Uniform, which cost a whole week of pizza delivery money to buy. I balled it up in my hands and tossed it inside the nearest dumpster.
“There!” I said and cried. “That’s the biggest sacrifice I can make.”
But still there was no Goddess of Faith, the one Reality who was never supposta leave me HighNDry, and I couldn’t help but worry she’d never come, and I’d never feel her It’s Alright, Baby ever again.
Then all I could do was get the deodorant from under the car, pull the pillow out of the shrub and brush the prickers off, and gather up as many pages of On the Road as I could find.
Finally, I tried to climb up the side of the dumpster so I could reach in and grab the jacket, but it was very high and smooth, and I didn’t want to accidentally fall in and not be able to get out.
“Dammit,” I cried a little and hadta just leave it there and go back inside.