I tried to get back into The Barracks, but there was a code you hadta enter to get in the front door. I hadta call up The General, and he hadta press a button so it would open for me. Then when I got up to his apartment I hadta knock on the door, and then The Admiral hadta let me in. I was expecting him to go “hahahahahahahahaha,” cuz I didn’t have any Gods with me, but he actually looked sad. The General and Red were laughing tho, as they wrestled with each otheron the floor.
“Hey, Ace,” The Admiral said, “I’m going out to the balcony for a smoke. Come with me.”
“I don’t smoke,” I said.
“Come out anyway. Let’s talk.”
“Alright,” I said and then I followed him out to the balcony.
It was little deck that could only fit about two Realities on it. He lit up a cigarette, and then smoke was everywhere, and it smelled bad and burned my nose and eyes.
“I hate smoking,” I said. “What do you want?”
“You know how we were listening to that one song earlier? Creep?”
“Well, don’t tell the others, but I think I am one.”
“Yeah, and it’s not funny at all. I hate working at the factory, and I drink all the time, and Red wants The General, and there’s nothing Special about me.
“What are you telling me for?”
“I thought you could do your Reality Travel thing on me. You know the MeToo thing.”
I had the instinct to look down at my jacket, but I wasn’t wearing one anymore. I realized I didn’t feel like MeTooing him at all. In fact I felt like making him hurt.
“Hahaha,” I said. “I can’t MeToo being a creep, cuz I’m Special.”
“Oh,” he said.
His face looked like a sunken ship, and it made me feel good. Then I just left him there to finish his cigarette alone.
When I got back in Red and The General were still on the floor, but they weren’t wrestling anymore. The General was very close to her face and trying to kiss her on the lips, but she wouldn’t let him.
“I don’t like you like that,” she said.
“Seriously?” he said. “But we were just wrestling, and you’ve been giving me The Look all night.”
“That doesn’t mean anything.”
“It means you’re leading me on.”
“Oh my god, no.”
“Do you like The Admiral instead of me?”
Before she could answer The Admiral came back in from the balcony and saw them very close on the floor.
“Can you two not make out right in front of us?” he said to them.
“Oh my god,” Red got up quickly and said, “we weren’t doing anything.”
“I know what I saw.”
Then The Admiral went right up to the General and stood over him.
“You’re always trying to rub shit in my face like this,” he said.
Then The General stood up and got right up next to The Admiral, and their chests were almost touching.
“Calm the fuck down, Admiral,” he said.
“No, you calm the fuck down, General.”
“Oh my god,” Red said, “I can’t believe you guys are fighting over me.”
“Hippie,” The General said.
“Frenchman,” The Admiral said.
Then they both shoved each other.
“HD,” she said, “help me stop them.”
“I don’t care,” I said and didn’t do anything.
Then Red got between them herself.
“Oh my god,” she said, “it’s not like I want either of you. I only like you guys as friends.”
“This is ridiculous,” The General said and pulled away. “I’m going out for a smoke.”
Then he looked over at me.
“Come with me, Ace,” he said.
“I don’t smoke,” I said.
“I need someone to talk to tho.”
“Alright,” I said and followed him out to the balcony.
He lit up a cigarette and offered me one.
“I just said I hate cigarettes. What do you want?”
“That Red,” he said, “I could’ve sworn she had a thing for me.”
“I’m not surprised she doesn’t.”
“Ace, don’t tell the others this, but I’m very lonely. I was dating this girl for awhile, but we just broke up. She said I was too argumentative for her. Can you believe that? I’m actually still heartbroken and wonder if any one will ever Love me again.”
“Why are you telling me?”
“I thought you could say something like you’ve had your heartbroken, too.”
“I haven’t. I’m good with girls. I break their hearts.”
“Yeah, and maybe Red doesn’t like you two cuz she likes me instead.”
“I highly doubt it.”
“Why don’t we go back in, and I’ll prove it to you, and finally you’ll understand The Gods like me better.”