6.1 – Track #18 of The Great Trip Mix – Coldplay “Sparks”

One day I came over to The Den, and Wolf&Lamb were very excited.

“We’ve just picked the song for The First Dance,” Wolf said.

“What’s The First Dance?” I asked.

“The most important song of The Wedding,” Lamb said. “It’s the first time Wolf and I will dance as married Realities. They’ll play a song, and we’ll be the only ones on the dancefloor. Everyone will watch us, and they can’t start dancing themselves until the next song.”

“It’s supposed to be something slow and romantic,” Wolf said. “And also something that perfectly represents our Love.”

“We picked Coldplay’s ‘Sparks,’” Lamb said.

“Sparks” is a song about the bright little flying embers that occur during an intense physical reaction like someone welding metal, a car bottoming out on pavement, a tree branch falling on a power line, or two Realities falling in Love.

I liked Coldplay. Their lead singer Chris Martin did not have a powerful voice, but it was high and still capable of giving you The Chills.

“To fully explain,” Wolf said, “We have to tell you The Story of How We Met.”

“Alright!” I said.

Then we got comfortable, and Wolf made some Jack Daniels and Dr. Pepper cocktails. Lamb even came up with the idea of adding maraschino cherries, so it would be like a sweet prize at the end of the drink. It was very good. Then Wolf began The Story…

“You may be thinking that in order to fall in Love you have to MeToo about every single thing, but, as you may notice, the two of us may as well be different species. You’d expect, since I’m so Wolf-like and Lamb is so baby-sheep like, that I would’ve only hunted her down in the night, pulled her from the flock with my canine teeth, and MeNotted her with my digestive tract. And actually at first I was searching for no animal but another daring and ferocious Canis Lupis, a SoulTwin who shared a 100% MeToo Overlap.”

“I thought the same thing,” Lamb said. “I just assumed I’d end up with a hardy, horn-bashing ram-boy.”

“I was at The Perceptionist Training School in TheWoods of Pennsylvania,” Wolf said, “going on intense Adventures assigned by the esteemed Perceptionism Professor. He would take us, as he would say, “Down The Rabbithole” to the frontiers of Perception and The Other World. I assumed I would fall in Love in there, but only a rare breed of Traveler was Called to do it. There were not many of us, and the pool of available mating options was quite small. I soon had to turn to the nearby Pennsylvania Future Adult Training School, where there were considerably better odds of meeting someone. I’d always enjoyed reading, especially the Great Perceptionist authors, such as Aldous Huxley, William S Burroughs, and Hunter S Thompson, so I enrolled in a literature course at the college.”

“I was going to PFATS because I thought I wanted to be an Adult at first,” Lamb said. “I mean that’s what everyone tells you you’re supposed to be, right? I ended up in the same literature class as Wolf because I always liked reading, too. I’d never heard of any of his favorite authors tho. My favorites were Mother Goose and the Bible.”

“I found her innocence and adorable looks very attractive right away.”

“I found his experience and intense hunting eyes attractive right away.”

“But I doubted there was even a 10% Overlap between us, so I continued looking elsewhere.”

“And I thought there was no way someone like Wolf would be interested in me.”

“I turned my attention to the PFATS party scene, and made it known to the right Realities that I had access to wild new Perceptions which could obliterate their inhibitions. It became easy to meet women after that, but they were all into Perceptionism for superficial reasons, and I would hide my Reality Travel Calling so it would appear as if we had more of a MeToo Overlap. Sometimes I’d outright lie and tell them I was a full time PFATS Student. I ended up dating several of them, but it was never satisfying, and none of them ever felt close to being my SoulMate.”

“And I would date boys who were too much like me. They were religious, polite, and well on their way to becoming Adults. But all the MeTooing was actually boring me, and I wanted to meet someone different for once.”

“Meanwhile in literature class, despite our differences, I couldn’t draw my attention away from Lamb. I felt strong urges to be near her soft wool and nuzzle it like a blanket. Eventually those urges overcame my fears.”

“Then one day Wolf asked me out, and I couldn’t believe it. I thought, why would someone like that like me?”

“Remarkably, she agreed. And at once I began worrying Lamb would MeNot everything about me. Yet, I was also fed up with not Being My Own Reality. I realized it was absurd to try and trick someone into being my SoulMate and decided not to lie or hold anything back this time. So I invited her to my favorite off-campus dive bar.”

“Not only had I never been in a bar before, but I’d never even been in Alcohol Perception.”

“When I found that out, I was even more terrified of a MeNotzie reaction, but I knew I had to continue with the Being My Own Reality experiment.”

“He ordered a martini and I ordered a Coke.”

“And I flat out told her, ‘I’m a ShaMan Reality Traveler who MeToos via Perceptionism.’”

“I had no idea what that meant.”

“So then I just explained everything to her. The Perceptions, MeTooing, and The Gods. And to my surprise, she did not run away or argue with me or stare at me in confusion.”

“I was thrilled by all these concepts and terminology I’d never heard before.”

“And then she said, ‘Thank you for being so honest.’”

“And then I reached out and grabbed his hand.”

“And then something happened. A surge of energy built up in the center of my chest and in an instant shot out to all parts of my body. It went thru my shoulders and down my arms, and when it reached my hands and fingers it leapt out in a spark. I truly mean that a small ember of light was created when we touched. It was overwhelming and forced us both to retract. Then when we summoned the courage to reach out and touch again, the same thing happened.”


“You may doubt me on this and think it was just a lingering effect from some recent Adventure in Perception.”

“But I was in Sober Perception the whole time, and I felt the exact same surge from my chest to my fingertips and witnessed the exact same electricity.”

“It’s left us both with a mysterious but non-negotiable trust in each other. As if from that point on, whatever force caused that spark would guide us no matter how much we MeToo’d or not.”

“We’ve been together ever since, and there have been a lot of MeToos.”

“I am certain we are SoulMates and have full confidence in my decision to marry her. And that, my friend, is why the song must be Coldplay’s ‘Sparks.’”

5.17 – El Puma’s NewYorkCity Apartment

El Puma’s NewYorkCity Apartment was in a really tall building in a neighborhood of only really tall buildings. There wasn’t an elevator, so you hadta take a lot of stairs to get to his floor. His room seemed too small of a habitat for a wildcat like him. The refrigerator was right next to the bookshelf, and the toilet was right next to the bed. When you looked out the window, the window of the next building was very close, but the ground was very far below.

“I don’t think I could live in a place like this,” I said.

“I know,” El Puma said, “but it is a very good price for this city.”

“I mean I don’t think I could live in this city. There are too many MeNotzies here.”

“Sometimes I agree. It is truly The Capital of The MeNotzies. But for me it can also be the most far off and exciting city in The World.”

Then I sat down on his one chair next to the stove, and he lay down on his bed next to the toilet.

“Do you think Wings will be alright?” I asked.

“Yes, those Rats were harmless cowards. They won’t have the courage to touch your car.”

“You’re probably right. I don’t think I want to go back out there tho.”

“This idea is easy for me to MeToo.”

A few seconds later he stopped talking and his eyes were closed.

“El Puma,” I said.

“Yes, Traveler Jonathan,” he said.

“Are you asleep?”

“It is possible. I had to wake up very early for work today.”


“I am sorry I have become so Adult now.”

“It’s alright. I’m sorry I took you away from Love with Mi Amor.”

“It is alright. Our Love is beyond space and time, our Love cannot be defeated, our Love is perfect.”

“Hey, El Puma?”

“Yes, Traveler Jonathan.”

“Did we Reality Travel enough tonight?”

“You have MeToo’d a NewYorkCity Reality tonight. I know this city. You have accomplished a near miracle.”

“I guess so.”

Then El Puma stopped talking and closed his eyes again.

“Hey El Puma?”

“Yes, Traveler Jonathan.”

“I should’ve let The Duckling Love me.”

He was quiet for a while before suddenly saying something in Spanish.

El que signe su camino de viajes realidad hace el Amor con los angeles.”

“What does that mean?” I said.

He didn’t answer tho.

“El Puma?”

He didn’t answer again and I realized he was completely asleep. Something was soothing about what he said tho, and soon I was fast asleep, too.

5.16 – TheHeart-of-theStreets Street

“That was the greatest MeToo I have ever witnessed with my own eyes,” El Puma said as we got back in the car. “It had everything. A pure and genuine MeToo. From a Reality which at first appeared very different from our own. And of course The Gods were involved. I find myself very inspired now. Maybe I will quit the Major Financial Newspaper and become a full time Reality Traveler who helps The World MeToo via Love.”

“Yes!” I said.

Soon we were on Heart-of-theStreets Street, and everything was full of lights and Realities. There were streetlamps and traffic lights and car headlights, and every building had a neon light bar on the bottom floor. There was a light glow in the sky, and it was so bright it seemed like day instead of night. There were Downtown Hits coming at us from every direction, and Realities were even dancing to it in the middle of the street. In fact, there were so many Realities outside I could barely move Wings forward anymore. They were Realities of all types, but they were all talking in NewYorkCity accents and going “ey!” One chick even walked in front of the car, looked at the license plate and waved, “Eyyy, Where-ThePlains-Meets-TheMountains,” like she wanted to do the Horizontal MeToo right then and there with Wings.

“This would be a very good place to find Love,” El Puma said. “Here the chicks seem to hunt you.”

“I don’t even care about that,” I said. “I just wanna get out and MeToo as much as we can.”

“I am motivated by your second wind. My apartment building is nearby. Let us park there and walk back to this Heart-of-theStreets Street Reality Fiesta.”

When we got to El Puma’s block I couldn’t find anywhere to park. It was all parallel, and there were no good gaps to fit in.

“Dammit,” I said. “My main driving weakness. Are there any valet places around here?”

“Not that I know of,” he said. “But that space over there looks big enough.”

“Maybe, but it has to be way big for me to get in there. Do you see any Reality Traveler houseflies around here?”

“Perhaps we do not have to park directly in front of my building.”


I kept driving around the block, but there was still nothing easy enough. I hadta go further and further until finally I found a whole street with no cars parked on it.

“Do you think we can park here?” I said.

“I do not know,” he said. “But I do not see any signs which say we cannot.”

I didn’t either, so I just pulled over and easily parked. It felt too easy tho, and I was nervous that Wings could get towed away in the night.

A couple of NewYorkCity Realities were standing nearby in the shadows.  They didn’t seem as joyful as the Heart-of-theStreets Realities. They were very close to the garbage and had pointed noses and whiskers like CityRats.

“Should we ask them?” I said.

“They look like they could be MeNotzie Perception Dealers,” El Puma said.

“Remember the Humility Mantra tho. They’re just like us. Also we can’t forget we’ve got a 100% MeToo rate on NewYorkCity Realities tonight.”

“This is true.”

We went up to them.

“Excuse me sir,” I said. “Do you know if it’s alright to park here?”

“Yoocrazy?” one of the Rats said. “Fuck no!”

“Oh,” I said and turned to El Puma. “I guess we hafta keep trying. I think there was a spot a couple streets ago that we might be able to squeeze into and only scratch the other cars a little bit.”

Then the Rats started laughing.

“I’m jus fuckin witchoo,” the one said. “You c’n pawrk here. Read da sign!”

He pointed to a sign we hadn’t seen that said you could park there. El Puma got mad.

“We are very nice Realities who approached you in a respectful manner,” he told them. “There was no reason to lie to us at first.”

“Yo, you gotta lighten up,” the other Rat said.

Then he came forward and punched El Puma hard in the shoulder. And then the other Rat came forward and punched me hard in the shoulder, and it hurt. Then both Rats started laughing. I looked over at El Puma, and we both had the same thought. We didn’t say anything else to the Rats and just started walking toward his apartment. They didn’t follow us, but we could hear them talking. They were trying to sound like us.

“Um, yes, uh, sir, uh…” one said in his wimpiest voice.

“Uh, yes, do you know if we could, uh, possibly park here…” the other said in his nerdiest voice.

It made them laugh really hard.

5.15 – Lost

“Where are we?” I asked El Puma.

At some point we were supposta get off the NewYorkCity Roads and enter the NewYorkCity Streets, but The Gods never told me how. There were lots of Roadsigns everywhere, but we couldn’t understand any of them, and then I hadta just pick a random exit.

“I have never seen these streets,” El Puma said.

They were dark with no street lamps and no street signs anymore. All the houses and shops had wooden boards over the windows, and someone had covered them with spraypaint paintings. As we drove thru I kept seeing mysterious moving shadows, and I didn’t know if they were from trees or dangerous Downtown MeNotzies. I tried to turn around and go back to the exit, but I couldn’t find a way to get back on.

“Dammit,” I said. “We’re trapped.”

“Where do The Gods say to go?” El Puma said.

“I don’t know. They won’t say.”

“The God of The Road has suddenly abandon one of his Gifted Realities?”

“I accidentally lied before. The God of The Road has no idea who I am. I was actually a terrible driver at first and hadta practice a lot just to be kinduv alright at it.”

“So anyone who practices could drive as well as you?”


“This encourages me, but also discourages me. How do we find our way now without The Gods lighting the way?”

“We probably hafta ask someone.”

“But you said a Reality Traveler never asks for directions.”

“No, that’s wrong, too. Anyone who’s lost has to ask for directions.”

“This makes more sense to me, but who do we ask? There is nothing but darkness around us.”

“I know. It’s scary.”

“Yes, I suppose we must keep going until we find some light.”

Soon we found a gas station with one dim lantern hanging high over it. The building was small and very spraypainted. Its windows had holes in them, and some of its pumps didn’t even have nozzles on them. It was kinda dark inside, and you couldn’t see anyone in there, and there was no open sign. It seemed too dangerous to get out and check. It seemed like you could hear bullets and screams in the near distance. But just as we were about to pull out and try to find a better lighted thing, I heard something else.

“Wait,” I rolled down the window to listen more closely. “There may actually be a God on our side afterall.”

“What is it?” El Puma said.

“Just follow me.”

Then I got out of the car, and he followed behind. We went to the door and jiggled the handle, and it opened. Inside behind a wall of bulletproof glass was a real live Downtown NewYorkCity Reality. He was a gray haired, gray bearded, old Adult, but he was up on his feet, flapping his arms, and dancing around beneath a flickering lamp like an old Moth who’d gotten inside the house cuz someone left the door open. My first instinct would’ve been to cover my ears and protect my wool wares, except he was listening to none other than Sam Cooke’s “Cupid” on The Radio. His voice was wheezy and not good, but he was singing and dancing with full passion. I started singing along, too, not to overpower him, but just enough to let him know I knew the song.

“How you know those words?” the Moth said. “This before your time.”

Then I told him about The Voice Professor and how I was supposta sing it for the Recital.

“That right?” he said. “This song a part of my past too. “Cupid” a song about my wife. Years ago we in the streets of NewYorkCity.  Outta a million people passing another million people we pass each other.  Arrow fly suddenly from the heavens right down into our chests.  Stops us in our tracks, we look into each other’s eyes, and know we gonna be in Love forever and we been ever since.”

“He’s a Lover like us!” El Puma said.

“Point is we think we in control,” Moth said. “But it really The Gods, and they be laughing at us. Ain’t nobody better than nobody else down here, ya know? Nobody a God but the Gods.”

“I know,” I said. “That’s pretty much the Reality Traveler Humility Mantra.”

“I don’t know those words. But I always known about The Gods.  Wasn’t even listening to the Radio tonight, but something tell me put on Old Old Hits station.

“The Goddess of Music,” I said.

“Yes,” Moth nodded furiously, “that exactly who it was.”

“I think she wants us to MeToo, so you can help us.”

Then we told him all about Reality Travel and how we were on a desperately important MeToo mission to NewYorkCity, but we got lost.

“Ain’t no shame in getting lost,” he said. “This a confusing place.”

Then El Puma told him where we wanted to go.

“Oh, that easy,” the Moth said. “Just take a right at the next light and then go all the way down Heart of the Streets Street, and then you home free.”

“Thanks,” we said.

“Gods bless ya,” he said.

5.14 – The Voice Recital

The Voice Recital was at the ALC Auditorium and there were lots of seats all filled with Realities who wanted to hear God-Given Gift singing. Even El Puma came.

“Your singing may be like a big net,” he said, “and when the chicks in the audience hear it, VUSH! You scoop up all their Love.”

I had worked on “Cupid” every week with The Voice Professor, and I was nailing it easily every time. I was even able to learn all the words without having to hear them. The Voice Professor didn’t know, but I was even nailing it without following The Rules of Singing. I never practiced cuz it was boring, and I Rocked Out hard every time I was in my car. It never seemed to affect my voice, and I wondered if I was just more Gifted than even The Voice Professor realized. I couldn’t wait for everyone to hear me and get The Chills and fall in Love with me.

Backstage everyone was singing their nonsense words to warm up. Including The Hottest Chick. She was finally all alone to talk to. I summoned my courage and trusted El Puma’s training would carry me thru.

“Hey,” I said, “you’re a really good singer.”

“Thanks,” she said.

“I’m in Private Voice Training, too. The Voice Professor says I have the Gift.”

“Good for you.”

“Are you also a Reality Traveler?”

“Yeah, isn’t everyone here?”

“I guess so, but I just got my Calling Card to the Reality Travel Training School.”

“I’ve known some Travelers who’ve gone there. How’d you get in?”

“I hadta MeToo a gritty down-and-out looking local truck driver.”

“I’ve MeToo’d a few truck drivers in NewYorkCity. Also truck drivers in Paris and Buenos Aires.”

“Sounds far off and exciting.”

“It was okay.”


“Next semester I’m going to MeToo truck drivers in Sidney with my boyfriend.”

“Boyfriend? Does he go here?”

“No way. He’s a NewYorkCity Reality originally from Australia.”

“Like Crocodile Dundee?”

“I don’t know. I don’t watch TV.”


Then she stopped looking at me, and I didn’t know what else to say to her. And the only thing to do was to start to pretend like I needed to practice my song. I was nailing it like always and vibrating air off all the right spots in my throat to make the right pitches. The Hottest Chick noticed and even raised her eyebrows. I wondered if my voice might be good enough to steal her away from Crocodile Dundee, but there was one little spot that wasn’t working right. I’d vibrate air off it, but it wouldn’t make a sound. I couldn’t even feel the air on it, and it was like it was numb and dead. But I really needed that spot, too, so I could hit the high and powerful “Cu” in “Cupid.”

“Dammit,” I said to the throat spot.

Then as I kept going thru the song I noticed other spots stopped working. It was like the numb spots were contagious, and soon I was missing lots of notes. It started to sound like I opened up my Gift and it was actually a wrapped up box full of poop.

I found the Voice Professor right away and told her about it. By that point even my speaking voice was coming out more scratchy and weak. She put her ear up close to my mouth, and I tried to sing for her.

“Uh huh,” she said gravely.

“What?” I said.

“It’s The Dead Voice.”

“What’s that?”

“Have you been following all The Rules of Singing?”

“Well, last weekend I did drive home to Ohio and sang a little bit in the car.”

“How much?”

“Really not too much.”

“Uh huh, The Dead Voice don’t lie.”

“Alright, I sang way hard for like the whole seven hours each way.”

“Uh huh.”

“I thought it wouldn’t matter.”

“No one is above The Rules.”


“There’s nothing you can do now about it. The Gods gave you a Gift, and you didn’t take care of it, and now they’ve taken it away.”


“No, but it ain’t coming back tonight.”

“But there are so many Realities here I have to MeToo.”

“Uh huh, and you would’ve. But sometimes you have to get humbled like this to respect The Gift.”


Then I didn’t wanna be there anymore. I didn’t wanna hear anybody else sing if I couldn’t prove I was better. And then I just wanted to get back to Alone Reality in my room as fast as possible.

“Hey,” The Duckling stopped me on my way out. “When are you singing? I don’t want to miss it.”

“Just leave me alone,” I said.

It was the last thing I could say loud enough to hear, and it was the last thing I ever said to her. When I got back to my room I cried. Tears came out of my eyes, but no sound could come out of my throat.

5.13 – The Road to NewYorkCity

El Puma and I got Wings back from The Adult Bar valet and plotted our next move.

“I suggest we return to the ALC party,” he said. “I will get to see Mi Amor again, and the Realities there are more likely to respect Reality Travelers of our caliber.”

“No,” I said. “I only wanna go to NewYorkCity.”

“I am certain your judgment at this moment is very precise, as always, but we are too late now to catch the last train.”

“I said I’ll drive us.”

“You have had very much alcohol, no?”

“El Puma, don’t believe what you hear. You can actually drive better in Alcohol Perception.”

“I did not know this.”

“Yeah, way better. Now you just hafta tell me which Roads to take there.”

“I am deeply sorry, but I do not know this information. I have only ever taken the train. Perhaps we should ask someone for directions.”

“A Reality Traveler never asks for directions. The Gods are on our side, and they will show us the way.”

Then we Hit the NewYorkCity Roads, the most advanced and complex in all of America. There were several lanes filled all the way at all times with fast moving cars. They were all in a hurry and flew around you with unpredictable, lightning quick, high-risk lane changes that almost always nearly hit you. And every single car honked the entire time, and we didn’t know if they were honking at us or just The World.

“You are driving very well on these Roads, Traveler Jonathan,” El Puma said. “The drivers around us make reckless decisions, yet we do not crash.”

“Yeah! Watch this lane change.”

“Two lanes at once! You are truly the maestro of The Road. How is it done? Hard work, practice, and persistently learning from mistakes?”

“It’s a Gift from The God of the Road and I’ve always had it. I don’t even hafta look. I can just sense what all the other cars will do before they do it, and then I make my move. It’s impossible for us to crash.”

“I suppose I will never have this sense then.”

“Nope, gotta be born with it.”

“Ah, this discourages me.”

“Here, let me cheer you up with the best part of driving!”

Then I put on The Mix and turned it to “The Sign.”

“Now we listen closely to this song and Rock Out,” I said. “No one can kick us out of here for singing.”

I turned up the song to the highest possible volume and screamed along and prepared to show the NewYorkCity Roads Entire-Body-Out-Window. But El Puma was holding his ears.

“What are you doing?” I said. “You can’t hear it when you do that.”

“Forgive me, but I just cannot MeToo. This song was very overplayed in our childhood, even in far off South America.”

“It doesn’t matter how many times you hear it. A great song is always great.”

“Perhaps I just do not like the song then.”

“How is that possible? Do you even know what it’s about?”

“I am not sure… It is a song about a chick who wants another baby?”

“No! It’s about you and me and how The Gods Love us more cuz we’re Reality Travelers!”

“I’m afraid I do not see how this song means this.”

“Oh, you don’t understand anything.”

And then I hadta turn the Mix off.

5.12 – More LoveHunting

“I know it hurts to fail at the LoveHunting,” El Puma said at the next Dorm Party. “It is a pain that hurts your body and your head and your heart and perhaps even past that to the deeper heart. I have this pain, too, because even tho I Horizontal MeToo’d the chick from the last party, she does not want things to get ‘too serious’ now and will not Love me again. But neither of us must give up, Traveler Jonathan.”

“Alright,” I said.

Then we started scanning the room for chicks again. I noticed The Hottest Chick was there again. I’d recently overheard one of her Private Voice Lessons, and it sounded like she was almost as good at singing as me.

“I don’t care if she’s a MeNotzie,” I said. “I want her.”

“Yes,” El Puma said. “I like this spirit.”

I knew this time I’d hafta talk to her myself tho, so I waited for a moment when she wasn’t talking to anyone else and then headed toward her. I was almost there when I got blocked by a crossing Duckling.

“Hey there,” she said. “What are you singing for The Voice Recital?”

“You probably don’t know it,” I said. “It’s older than the Great List of Old Songs.”

“Try me, I know lots of old songs.”

I told her.

“Sam Cooke!” she said. “I Love him.”

Then she started badly quacking “Another Saturday Night.”

“Another Saturday Night” is a song about a lonely person who can’t find anyone to Love them too many weekends in a row.

“I don’t know that one,” I lied.

“Oh,” she said. “I should play it for you.”


“You know I don’t really like these dorm parties. Do you wanna leave and go to my room and listen to some music?”

“I don’t know.”

Just then El Puma pounced in and grabbed me with his teeth.

“Excuse us for a moment,” he told her.

Then he dragged me aside.

“I am overhearing your conversation and want to offer my advice.”


“This chick is showing every sign she wants to Love you tonight, and I believe you should accept.”

“Really? I don’t know if I want to tho.”

“But Traveler Jonathan, Love is the greatest thing that can happen.”

“Maybe she’s alright, but she’s also kinda strange and doesn’t sing well.”

“But I have overheard you exchange MeToos, no?”

“I guess.”

“This is an important thing. She may seem like The Duckling, but the MeToos may turn her into The Swan.”

“Alright, but I’d rather get Love from The Hottest Chick.”

“But look at how The Duckling looks at us now as we speak.”

We looked over, and she smiled back.

“This is the look I dreamed of so many times as a boy in South America. There is nothing better than this look. And because the Goddess of Love does not shine down on this school, it is very rare here.”

“But I’m a Calling Card Traveler now, and I have The Gift. I deserve The Hottest Chick.”

“Alright,” El Puma sighed, “This does not feel without flaw to me, but I wish you luck nonetheless.”

“Alright, thank you.”

Then I went over and told The Duckling I couldn’t go to her room.

“Oh, Alright,” she said. “I just like you and thought we could MeToo about a lot.”

She looked like the saddest Duckling ever, and it almost made me wanna change my mind. But I knew I justed wanted Love from The Hottest Chick so bad.

After saying goodbye to the Duckling I went looking for her. But it had been too long, and she wasn’t in the same place. I finally found her outside leaving the party with some friends.

“This party’s lame,” one said.

“Yeah,” the Hottest Chick said. “Let’s go to NewYorkCity.”

“Yeah, Realities are so much more Real there.”

“Totally,” she said as they walked outta sight.

Then I went back in the party. The Duckling was gone by then, and El Puma was busy Mouth MeTooing some new chick. I awkwardly stood in the middle of the room talking to nobody for a second and then left the party alone again.