4.12 – Full House

When I woke up the next day at Kat’s parents’ house, she was gone at work. Your Son was lying on my neck and licking me all over. My face was so snotted up I hadta do a full head-dunk in the sink before I could do anything else. I took a double dose of Benadryl Perception, grabbed some Fudge Grams and went to the couch. It seemed like maybe there were other Reality Travel things I was supposta do that day, but I watched episodes of Full House on TV instead.

Full House is an old TV show about Reality Travel. In it a Musicman Traveler, known as Uncle Jesse, is trapped in an overpopulated house of nothing but Adults and Children who adorably say Adult things like “How Rude?!” He is supposta be MeTooing the World with RockNRoll, but instead the Full House Dominates him into becoming a babysitter. They make him do things like take the Kids to School, and enforce bedtimes, and change diapers. He’s so busy there’s never enough time to Travel on his motorcycle or make MeToo songs.

My favorite episode was when Uncle Jesse is finally sick of Domination and tries to break free. He rides his motorcycle far away to his old Reality Traveler allies, and they play music together again, and some of them are pretty girls who really like the way his voice sounds.

“Yes, Uncle Jesse!” I said to the TV. “Stay there forever.”

But talking to the TV didn’t help. Eventually the Full House lured him back by tricking him that one of the Kids was sick and he was the only one who could make her well. Then Uncle Jesse was brainwashed into realizing he actually Loved the Kids more now than Reality Travel, and he never left the Full House again.

“Aw,” I said. “I guess you can’t blame him too much. The Kids are very adorable.”

4.11 – Katfight

“I’m concerned,” Kat said one day at Our Own Place.

I’d just woken up in a stupor from one of my Benadryl naps. My eyes were crusty, and tissues were jammed up each nostril, and everything itched. I hadn’t made it to class. I’d just stayed on the couch and ate snacks and watched TV all day.

“It doesn’t seem like you’re trying hard enough to be an Adult,” she said.

“What do you mean?” I said.

“Well, for one, you’re supposed to have a job by now.”

I’d actually gotten a job at The Radio. I thought it would be easy cuz I liked listening to the Radio so much, but it was actually hard. You hadta go to the station for hours without leaving, while some Boss Reality told you what to do. I wanted them to ask me to help them pick out good songs to play, but instead they told me to answer the phone and copy papers and make coffee. They didn’t even pay me, cuz they said it was something called an ‘internship’ that was only meant to possibly lead to an actual paying Adult Career sometime in the future. Every day I was supposta work my allergies got way worse, and the Benadryl Perception didn’t even help. Some days, like the second day, I’d feel so crappy I wouldn’t even want to go, and then some days, like the third day, I just stopped going at all.

“It’s not fair,” Kat said. “I’m working sixty hours a week and you’re working zero.”

“You don’t understand, Kat,” I said. “I think jobs make me sick.”

“That’s just your cat allergy.”

“But I started sneezing worse when I was at The Radio Station, and there weren’t any cats there.”

“Then maybe you were allergic to something else there. Just go find another job.”

“But every time I go somewhere to pick up an application the same thing happens. I get all snotgross, and the managers give me a look. I’m telling you, I think I may be allergic to jobs in general.”

“Maybe you’re not allergic to anything at all. Maybe you’re just lazy.”

“But, you’ve seen me sneezing.”

“Even so, it almost seems as if you don’t even want to be an Adult.”

“I swear I’m trying.”

“Well, try harder. Adults don’t get up in the afternoon and watch TV on the couch all day. Adults don’t have their parents pay for everything. Adults get some job, even if it’s a bad one, because they just have to.”

“It’s alright, Kat. I’ll get more applications tomorrow.”

“Eh,” she said.

Then she ended up taking her shower alone that night.

4.9 – Kat Bed

After the pancakes Kat hadta go straight to bed so she could get up early for her job, and I went with her even tho I wasn’t tired at all. She took off her dress and got in bed in her underwear. And then I joined her in my underwear. I put my arm around her, and her she was right up against me.

“Hey, Kat,” I said, “let’s take a shower.”

“It’s late,” she said.

“In the morning then.”

“You won’t get up.”

“I’ll make sure I do.”

“You’ll get up in the afternoon.”

Kat nuzzled in even closer tho, so I started rubbing up and down her arms.

“Prr,” she said.

It encouraged me and then I started rubbing other things.

“Prr, prr,” she said.

Then I started rubbing even other things. The purring got louder and so did her breathing.

It was clear we were being TimeWarped into Love, and our underwear was getting in the way.  We just starting taking them off when Your Son jumped on the bed and sat on the top of my head and started licking my hair. I tried to shoo him away, but he was on there good. And it didn’t take long before I felt a burning inside my nose. I tried to fight it, but it was too powerful, and suddenly snot came exploding out and some of it got on Kat.

“Ew!” she said.

“It’s alright!” I said.

And then I sneezed again and then again and then a bunch of times in a row after that.

“Ugh,” Kat said, “Hold on, I think we’ve got some Benadryl.”

Benadryl is a Medicine Perception about getting rid of allergies. It’s very effective, but it also makes you very drowsy.

She came back with a couple pills and a glass of water. I swallowed them, and then I started to feel the old familiar Benadryl Perception I used to hafta be in all the time. My eyes got heavy and my body sunk into the bed, and I didn’t have the motivation to do anything anymore, let alone Love. I briefly wondered what Wolf would think of such a Perception and then fell into a deep sleep.