4.7 – LoveKat

Eventually the Road-80 traffic started moving again, but it took so long there was no way I’d be on time for Kat Reality. The Goddess of Faith gave me some more IAB! when she said goodbye, but it wasn’t long after she’d flown high into the sky toward the sun that Kat called and it all wore off. I didn’t even answer. I just started making Wings go as fast as it could, even tho it was against the law. I even sped right past a sign that said “The Wilderness, PA,” even tho I knew the right Traveler thing to do was Sidetrack into BigFoot’s hometown. I felt like every second counted, and there was just no way.

When I finally got to Kat’s parents’ house it was way after dinnertime. I stayed in her driveway for an extra second to prepare myself. I knew I couldn’t forget a Grounding Device like the last Past Reality, so I tried staring at my Bluebird Sticker long enough for it to stick on the inside of my brain. Then I sighed and grabbed The Mix and put another old delivery sticker on that and wrote…

Play Kat

track 6

and sing

I crossed my fingers and got outta the car.

When I got to the door Kat was already standing there in a sparkly gold dress and makeup, which she rarely wore. She was frowning at me.

“You’re really late,” she said.

“It’s alright, Kat,” I said. “There was construction on Road-80 and they stupidly closed every lane except one and you hadta wait for a guy with a stop sign to tell you you could go…”

But before I could finish she pounced on me with a big hug.

“Oh, I don’t care,” she said. “I’m just glad you got here safe!”


“Of course, now give Your Son a hug.”

Your Son was the kitten we’d had together. He was right at her side, but when I went down to squeeze him he squirmed out of my arms and ran away. It made me remember cats only Love you when they want to.

“Aw,” Kat said. “He’s just shy today.”

She was looking at me totally like the LoveKat, the thing she was before she became the HateKat. I figured there must’ve been some kinda TimeWarp at play for her.

“Are you hungry?” she asked.

“Very,” I said.

“Well, it’s too late to go to The Golden Lion, but there’s lots of food here. I can make you something.”


Kat was very good at the kitchen and knew how to make almost everything on The Great List of Food.

“What do you want?” she asked.

“I don’t know,” I said.

“You had your mind set on General Tso’s Chicken, and now you can’t think of anything else, right?”

“Yes, that’s exactly what’s happening.”

“I know you.”

Then she smiled and gave me another hug.

“I can think of something else you like,” she said.


“Apple pancakes.”

“You’re right, I do like those!”

“With the apples in the batter instead of that gross apple syrup on top like at the diner.”

“Yes, I like it that way!”

Then she went into the kitchen and started working on it. She gave me a package of fudge grams to snack on while I waited. And then she did all her mixing and griddling and things in her cute outfit, and I hadta keep coming up from behind and squeezing her.

“Haha, stop,” she said. “I’m doing things.”

“But when you’re doing things is when I like to squeeze you the most!” I said and squeezed her again hard.

When she was almost ready she told me to set the table with plates and silverware and maple syrup. Soon she came out with a big platter full of fat apple pancakes, and she scooped them onto my plate, and I covered them in the syrup.

“Oh, I almost forgot something,” she said.

Then she left and came back in a second with a cold can of Dr. Pepper.

“Alright!” I said.

Then I ate the pancakes and washed them down with Dr. Pepper.

“Do you like it?” she said.

“I love it all!” I said.

We smiled at each other as we ate. The TimeWarp was strong and I wondered if we’d even have Love again. I remembered everything was perfect when we were at her parents’ house. It was only when we lived together at Our Own Place that things started going bad.

1.10 – Making the Great Trip Mix

“Woo yeah!” BigFoot said. “I like ‘Forever Young.’ I like Bob Dylan. I like that “Maggie’s Farm” song, too.

“Maggie’s Farm” is a song about a Reality Traveler who quits working on a farm cuz everyone there are MeNotzies who interfere too much with Reality Travel.

“That’s me. I’m working at Maggie’s Landscaping right now!”

“Yeah and you can’t work there no mo,” I said.

“You’re right. I gotta quit!”

“Yay, then you can go to The Wedding with me!”

Then I told him all about the nature of The Great Trip, and BigFoot got excited and messed up his hair again and opened up his mouth wide again and started adding in his own ideas.

“Yeah, yeah,” he said, “and we gotta stop along the way at my hometown in The Wilderness and see my family and all my old favorite spots like the trees and the ice cream stand and the sleazy adult bookstore. And we also gotta make sure the car is stocked with alotta snacks, and we gotta put together all the best songs we know and call it The Great Trip Mix and play it over and over and Rock Out the whole way! Woo Yeah!”


There was no time to lose, and we rushed back to The Shadows of The Forest so BigFoot could grab a few things while I made a Great Trip Mix. An out-of-nowhere Chill came over me, and suddenly my mind was sharp, and I easily came up with 18 tracks from The Great List of Old Songs that I felt like we might need at some point on The Trip. I put them all together and there was even enough room for one more bonus track.

Meanwhile, BigFoot was calling up his parents to let them know we’d be stopping by. I overheard some of the conversation and noticed he was getting less and less excited as it went on. At first he was saying things like “I ain’t gonna work on Maggie’s Landscaping no mo!” But then he was saying things like “but, Mom…” and then he was just saying things like “fine” and “I know.”

After the call BigFoot let out a sad, lonely whine.

“I can’t go,” he said.

“But BigFoot,” I said, “I’ve just created the perfect mix.”

“Maybe my parents are making sense. Someone has to pay for my home. Can’t just be a bum.”

“Reality Travelers are bums, tho.”

“Maybe the job isn’t so bad. At least it’s outside.”

“But what about ‘Forever Young’ and ‘Maggie’s Farm?”

“Just hafta go on the next Great Trip.”

“That’s what all the Adults say.”

But BigFoot barely put up a fight, instead he just yawned and lay down on his bed and curled up into a ball.

“What are you doing?” I said.

“Work makes me tired,” he said.

Then he yawned again and closed his eyes and I hadta shake him to try to get his attention.

“BigFoot! C’mon man… I can’t do the Great Trip alone.”

But BigFoot couldn’t hear me cuz he was so tired.