9.14 – (Witness) The Goddess of Angels

Then The Goddess of Angels came out of the crowd and took The Stand.  She was like a bigger more important version of The Goddess of Faith with a long white dress and feathery wings and a golden halo that was shining so bright you couldn’t look at her for more than a second.

“The Goddess of Angels,” The God of Judgment said.  “When did you first meet The Goddess of Faith?”

“One day she came to me begging to be part of The Guardian Angel Corps.  She said she’d just quit being an Angel of Death, and didn’t want to see any more Realities get Destroyed forever in War ever again. She said she just wanted humans to feel Alright, Baby!  It moved me, and it was one of the best Angel Slogans I’d ever heard, so I hired her right away.”

“Is she a good Guardian Angel?”

“She is a great Guardian Angel.  She is always assigned to Music Travelers, and she’s not only soothed them out of doubt countless times, but she has also inspired them to write some of the greatest and most MeTooable songs on The Great List of Old Songs.”

“Did it ever seem like The Goddess of Faith liked humans a little too much?”

“All of my Angels Love humans in the way that you Love everybody no matter what.”

“Did she ever go too far intervening in The Travels?”

“Not at all, not until she was assigned to The Bluebird.”

“What happened then?”

“At first it was just normal.  I matched her up with the next new Music Traveler like always, but during her first summoning she ended up staying with him for an entire night instead of the standard few minutes.  Then she started watching him all the time, and ignoring some of her other Travelers. He would summon her all the time for the smallest things, and she’d come anyway, whether there was an acceptable sacrifice or not.  After awhile she even started coming on her own with no sacrifice at all.  She thought I wouldn’t notice, but I saw everything.”

“Did you see them try to show each other what Love is?”

“I did not see it until everyone else did just now, but I had my suspicions.”

“Has one of your Angels ever behaved like this before?


“Including The Goddess of Faith?”

“No, not until Bluebird.”

“How can you explain this?”

“I cannot.”

“Tell us what are the consequences for a God falling in Love with a human, especially a Reality Traveler?”

“A Guardian Angel is only supposed to give their Reality Traveler a minimal level of encouragement to keep things balanced.  If they are in Love they will not be able to help giving more than that and create an unfair advantage.  It only means something when humans are able to MeToo all by themselves.  Also, if the Love affair was to end for some reason it could do irreparable damage to the Angel’s or Traveler’s confidence.  It’s hard enough to keep good ones around as it is.  Either way it basically compromises the entire Show.”

“Did The Goddess of Faith ever cause The Bluebird to MeToo a Reality he wouldn’t have otherwise?”

“Yes, it was her idea to MeToo Wolf&Lamb’s Wedding AfterParty with a Bob Marley sing-along.”

“You ruined The Show!” the crowd yelled.

The Goddess of Faith was face down on the Defendant’s table. She was crying deeply like only a brokenhearted angel could.  But still I could feel nothing for her.

“Is it fair to say,” The God of Judgment said, “that The Goddess of Faith should be removed from her position or even Eliminated?”


“What?!” the crowd yelled.  “Eliminate The Perv!  Eliminate The Perv!”

“Why not?” The God of Judgment asked.

“Given the spotless record of The Goddess of Faith before she met The Bluebird, I can only infer he must’ve somehow seduced her.  If we give her another Traveler I am certain she’ll resume being a model Angel again, and if we give Bluebird another Angel he’ll only try to seduce them again.”

“Oooh!” the crowd said.

“Despite seducing an Angel and relying on her to MeToo,” The God of Judgment said, “is Bluebird otherwise a good Traveler?”

“No,” she said, “he has many weaknesses.  Despite his formal Training, he’s prone to just about every BoobTrap, such as an over fondness for Alone Reality, a tendency to get sucked into TimeWarps, a vulnerability to severe moments of Traveler Pride, and an unacceptable terror of New Realities.  Worst of all, he recently broke The Traveler Vow by causing two Realities’ faces to bleed.”

“Given the shortage of Reality Travelers, would we miss him if he was gone?”

“No, we accept that most Reality Travelers won’t make it for long anyway.”

Then The God of Judgment called out to the crowd.

“Are there any Gods here who have anything else to say on behalf of The Bluebird?” he asked.

The crowd looked around at each other for a moment until one God suddenly emerged and came down.

“God of The Road,” The God of Judgment said, “please take The Stand.”

7.7 – Track #5 of The Great Trip Mix: Bob Marley’s “One Love”

Bob Marley was a ShaMan and a MusicMan Traveler, from the far off and exciting Realities of Jamaica, about MeTooing via Preferring Marijuana Perception and also songs about everything being alright.

I remembered I’d had a dream with Bob Marley in it the night before.  It started off in the furthest thing from Jamaica, Valley Forge.

Valley Forge is a historical site aboutthe beginning of America.  One winter during the America vs. Great Britain Reality War, General George Washington and his Army were getting their asses kicked by the British Army and hadta retreat into the wilderness outside Philadelphia.  The only place to stay was at Valley Forge even tho it was just a little iron forge covered in snow and didn’t have houses or meat or boots.  It caused the Army to start dying alot and start thinking about maybe just stopping the War, but their leader The Great Warrior George Washington wouldn’t let them.  They made it thru the winter, and they ended up winning the War eventually.

The Goddess of Faith was there in the middle of all the dying soldiers.  She wasn’t a Guardian Angel tho.  She was an Angel of Death, and when they died she hadta take their souls out of their bodies and carry them low into the ground thru the center of the earth to a part of The Other World known as The UnderWorld or Land of Dead Souls.  It was a total drag and the only way she could deal with it was by making the song “One Love.”

“One Love” is a song about The Dream of One Reality. Every Reality at some point imagines every Reality in The World MeTooing over the same thing at the same time, and then it not feeling like billions of different Realities anymore but like one single Reality and then everything finally feeling Alright.  MeNotzies want it to come true by Domination and War, but a Reality Traveler like Bob Marley wants it to come true by Love.

The song was the first time The Goddess of Faith had ever used the word “Alright,” and it made her feel Alright even tho she just carried dead souls around all the time.  She was so excited she actually broke The Angel of Death Corps Rules and went straight up to George Washington himself, even tho he wasn’t dying, and told him to sing the song to all his men.

“I don’t understand,” he said.  “We can’t Love the British.  They’re too different from us.  It’s like they come from a whole other bizarre Reality, in which forcing someone to pay slightly more taxes without representation is alright.  We have to kill as many of them as we can until they stop Dominating us.  Besides, I can’t sing.”

“Oh,” Faith said.

Then the dream skipped all the way ahead to the 1960’s Golden Age.  Bob Marley was there, but he did not have his big black dreadlocks or a huge rolled up joint of Marijuana Perception.  He was working in a factory, and he was sneezing a lot.  It sucked because product parts would come down an assembly line, and then he hadta put them together with other parts, and they’d keep coming like that all day even if he was bored with it.  Finally he took a break and went outside and cried out to the sky about how he didn’t wanna be an Adult anymore, and he hadta be a MusicMan Reality Traveler but he had too much doubt and didn’t know how.

Then suddenly the golden-winged Goddess of Faith came swooping down, and she was a Guardian Angel now.  She gave Bob Marley a big It’s Alright, Baby hug, and then the whole song of “One Love” suddenly went from inside her to inside him.  And then he knew what he hadta do to make life better for the Realities of The World.

“Thanks and praise,” he said with a huge smile.  “I feel Alright.”

“You’re welcome,” said the The Goddess of Faith.

And then I woke up.


5.9 – WolfCall

“Bluebird,” he said, “how have you survived The Great Trip so far?”

“Barely,” I said. “I feel like I’m getting my ass kicked by BoobyTraps every moment, except the one when I kissed my Guardian Angel.”

“Kissed how?”

“On the mouth, like we like each other.”

“That’s unbelievable. Is that even allowed?”

“I don’t think so, she just wanted to.”

“Are you with her now?”

“No, I’m at an Adult Bar with El Puma, and every Reality here probably only wants to talk about their stupid retirement plans.”

“Try to hang in there, and don’t let Traveler Pride get in the way. Also, remember to stay at the same magnitude of Perception as those around you.”

“I know, I know.”

“Anyway, the main reason I called is to warn you about tomorrow. The last several days I’ve been in Wedding Planner Reality, and it’s clear they’re MeNotzies trying to Dominate the entire event. Lamb and I have been increasingly overwhelmed and disoriented. We may even get Vertigo if we’re not careful.”

“Oh no.”

“We’ll have a hundred other Realities there demanding our attention and may not have a chance to MeToo or even speak to all of them. I know you have a weakness for New Realities, but you may have to be all on your own there.”


“Just letting you know what you’re up against, so you can prepare.”


Then Lamb got on the phone, too.

“Bluebird, just remember one thing if you get in trouble.”

“The Gods are on my side?”

“Yes, but also remember to sing. No one can resist MeTooing your voice!”

“Oh yeah…”

1.13 – The Gods

“All Reality Travelers have The Gods on their side,” The Professor told our The Gods class. “They know how hard your mission is, so they have assigned each of you a personal Guardian Angel who looks out for you. There are rules, and the Angel cannot intervene directly in your Travels, but they can be summoned to encourage you during moments of Little Doubt and other BoobyTraps.”

To show us how to summon our Angel, The Professor took us on a Field Trip to TheMountains.

TheMountains are a treacherous geographic region about the land suddenly rising up steep and high. In some parts there’s nothing flat to stand on, and you will fall to your death unless attached by hooks and ropes. Most of the land is still covered by Pure Nature, and it’s full of dangerous and unpredictable plants and animals, and there’s nowhere to hide from The God of Weather. There also isn’t a normal amount of air to breath, and its Roads are windy and narrow, and at any moment an avalanche could fall behind you and trap you there forever. Few Realities, except for the most desperate and hardened, choose to try and survive up there.

The Professor had us bring nothing to The Mountains but a sleeping bag, tarp, and water. Once there he told us how to use them. Then he led us to the edge of a great canyon and the fierce winds blew his hair as he explained what we hadta do.

“For the next three days,” he said, “you will sacrifice your roofs and internets and toilets. You will also sacrifice human company by camping out in isolated spots around this canyon. And finally you will sacrifice food of any kind.

“Tomorrow will be the first day. You will find a place to set your camp, put up your tarp, and settle in.

“On the second day you will shout out to The Gods, ‘What is my True Traveler Name?’ Then they will send you a sign and you will know instinctively what that name is.

“Finally, on the third day you will shout out to The Gods, ‘I am—then you will state your True Traveler Name. Please send me my Guardian Angel.’ Then the Angel will appear and ask you what you need. You will tell them you are learning how to summon them for The Training. They will cordially shake your hand and say something reassuring. You will then thank them and say goodbye. Then you can break down your camp and return here to base.”

The next morning we hiked out. I found a good spot that was as close to the base as The Professor would let me go. It had a big boulder I could sit on and look out over the canyon, and at least it didn’t feel like Pure Nature was closing in on me too much. When I went to set up my tarp I couldn’t remember how I was supposta do it. I didn’t know how the knots were supposta go, so I just came up with my own ones from my imagination and hoped they stayed.

Pure Nature was hard. It was boring, and there were a lot of flies, and they were landing on my nose. I was also very hungry right away and hadta write out a Great List of Food to keep from going crazy. I didn’t know how anyone could take this for three whole days.

That afternoon a storm came in. The wind got strong, the clouds blocked the sun, and a cold rain began to fall. I climbed underneath the tarp for shelter, but it was too loose, and the storm kept knocking it around. Then suddenly one whole end flew up, and the wind and rain and cold came in and got me.

“Dammit,” I yelled at myself, “I’m such a tarp amateur!”

I tried to fix it, but it was getting blown around too much, and I couldn’t think. I quickly lost faith that I could take care of myself at all.

“What if you die out here?” I asked myself.

I thought about packing up and heading straight back to base, but I didn’t want The Professor to say I came back too soon. I could only think of one other thing to do. I knew it was only the first day, but I really needed that Guardian Angel. I climbed up the big boulder, looked up to the dark sky, and shouted.

“Gods! What is my True Traveler Name?”

Nothing seemed to happen, and I guessed it was cuz I hadn’t been out there long enough. But I was desperate and kept shouting anyway.

“C’mon, Gods! I’m sacrificing a ton right now.”

Then suddenly a tree to the right of me started making noises. They were not normal tree-in-the-wind noises but crazy shrieking Other World spirit noises. They kept getting louder until they were as loud as the storm itself.

“What’s happening, tree?” I yelled at it.

And the tree answered by shooting out like a hundred crying birds, swooping over me to another big tree. I couldn’t see what kind they were, but I felt like I had to know exactly.

“What are you?” I yelled at them.

And then one single bird flew out right in front of my face, and even in the dark storm light it was so close I saw it perfectly, and it was the best color, blue.

“Bluebird,” I said.

And as I said it something suddenly overcame me from inside and exploded out of my face. It made me helplessly start to cry and get a nosebleed at the same time, and it dripped red all over my shirt and the ground, and it seemed like I was weeping tears of blood. And then I knew that was my name.

“I’m The Bluebird,” I shouted back out to The Gods. “And I need my Angel now!”

Then another bird flew out from the tree, except this one was huge. It swooped down right at me, and I hadta duck out of the way. But when I looked back up there was a naked woman next to me. She was very pretty, and her perfect face and breasts were wet in the rain. There was also a pair of golden wings spread out from her back.

“How can I save you, Bluebird?!” she said.

She was so awesome I couldn’t remember what I was supposed to say next.

“You need to get out of the rain, right?” she said.

“Um,” I said, “I don’t know how to do the tarp.”

Then she reached over and touched my arm.

“It’s Alright, Baby,” she said.

I felt a sudden surge of warmth where she touched me, and it quickly traveled throughout my body, and when it hit my chest and heart I felt, Alright.

“Let’s figure this out together,” my Angel said.

Then she guided me down from the boulder with her hand, and we went over to the tarp to take a look.

“I think the knots are alright,” she said, “but the rocks you tied it to were just too small to hold it steady.”

“Ohh,” I said.

There were lots of bigger rocks around, and we found some good ones and retied the rope. Then the tarp was sturdy, and we both got underneath so the storm couldn’t get us anymore. We sat side-by-side, dripping, and part of her wet naked leg touched my jeans.

“I’m sorry I called you here just for that,” I said.

“It’s Alright, Baby,” she said.

Then she touched me on the shoulder, and the same thing happened like before, and I felt more Alright.

“Thanks,” I said. “Are you supposta leave now?”

“Oh,” she said, “do you want me to?”

“No.  I just thought you were supposed to.”

“Well, the storm is going to last all night, and it will get dark and scary. I’ll stay if you want.”

“Yes, I do want you to stay.”

And she stayed. And we sat like that for awhile under the tarp in silence cuz we didn’t know what to say to each other. When it got nighttime, we both lay down, and I could feel her body against me. I was worried she didn’t really want to be there, but every time it flashed lightning I could see she was smiling. At some point she put her hand on my chest and said “It’s Alright, Baby” to me one last time, and then I fell right to sleep and didn’t wake up until the next morning when the storm was over and it was sunny outside.

The Angel was still right there next to me and she was humming “Here Comes the Sun.”

“Gods know songs?” I asked.

“Yeah,” she said, “I love songs.”

“MeToo. That’s one of my favorites.”

“Thank you, I actually made it.”

“I thought the Beatles did that?”

“They got it from me when I was assigned to them.”

“You were the Guardian Angel for the Beatles?!”

“Yeah, I’ve been assigned to lots of MusicPeople Travelers. Whenever you hear a song that has ‘It’s Alright’ in it, that’s cuz of me.”

“Oh my Gods, those are my favorite kinda songs!”

Then we made direct eye contact for the first time. It was very intense, and I hadta quickly look away.

“I should probably go now,” The Angel said. “I wasn’t really supposta stay with you this long.”


“Do you think you can make it on your own for the next two days?”

“I don’t know.”

“Then here.”

She put both arms around me and sang in my ear.

Here comes the sun, doo-da-doo-doo, here comes the sun, and I say, It’s Alright… Baby.”

It was the most pure and true version of that song I’d ever heard, and I was certain she had made it.

“I like this It’s Alright, Baby,” I said.

“I like giving it to you,” she said. “How do you feel now?”

“Like I could survive in TheMountains forever.”


Then it was time to say goodbye. She climbed on top of the big boulder and turned towards me.

“I can come back whenever you need me,” she said. “Just make a sacrifice.”

“Alright,” I said.

She gave me one last little wave and turned around and flew right into the canyon and then rose up high into the sky until she disappeared into the sun.

“Yes!” I pumped my fist. “The Gods are on my side!”